Issue No. 14

Table of Contents



HEALTH AND HEALING

Relieving Tension by Chi Breathing

We can cooperate with our body's natural wisdom by practicing chi breathing whenever we feel tired or tense. Chi is the life energy that circulates through our inner body. It is also known as prana. Our vitality depends upon the smooth circulation of chi. Here is an exercise suggested by Diane Dreher, author of The Tao of Peace:

SOURCE: DIANE DREHER, THE TAO OF PEACE, DONALD I. FINE INC., NEW YORK.

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INNER PEACE

Fix It or Accept It

Do you avoid smiling because your teeth are crooked or discolored? Do you feel too fat or too thin to be lovable? Are you always conscious that you are going bald?

Author Catherine Rollins gives this age-old advice to those who feel that they have weaknesses or imperfections that their self-esteem or self-confidence is affected: Fix it or accept it.

SOURCE: CATHERINE E. ROLLINS, 52 WAYS TO BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE. THOMAS NELSON PUBLISHERS, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE, U.S.A.

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HEALTH

Be Careful of that Cup of Coffee

Heavy drinkers of coffee should beware. A 19-year study at Northwestern University showed that people who drank six or more cups per day of coffee were 71% more likely to die prematurely from heart disease. The subjects of this study were 1,910 male employees of Western Electric Company in Chicago. Caffeine has been linked to heart attack, arrhythmia, insomnia, anxiety and irritability. It is one of the drugs banned for Olympic athletes.

SOURCE: MARILYN FERGUSON, BOOK OF PRAGMAGIC, POCKET BOOKS, SIMON & SCHUSTER INC. 1230 AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS, NEW YORK, N& 10020, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Don't Spank Your Child

Experts are questioning the age-old form of disciplining children by spanking or physical punishment. "They believe," writes Liezel Angeles, "whipping is not necessarily the best way to mold children's behavior. If it is wrong to hit people, then it is also wrong to hit children, because they are also people." Besides, says Radda Barnen who belongs to an international group of children's advocates, hitting children is a violation of their fundamental rights as human beings. Ms. Angeles states these reasons:

Here are suggested alternatives to physical punishment:

SOURCE: MONEYSAVER MAGAZINE, SEPTEMBER, 1995, CONCORDE CONDOMINIUM, 5TH FLOOR, 200 BENAVIDEZ CORNER SALCEDO STREET, LEGASPI VILLAGE, MAKATI, PHILIPPINES

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PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Why Customers Don't Come Back

If you are engaged in some form of trade, you may learn from this poster on why customers quit buying from a store or business:

A positive and caring attitude is not only conducive to personal happiness, it is also effective in business.

SOURCE: PROMOD BATRA, MANAGEMENT THOUGHTS. GOLDEN BOOKS CENTRE SDN. BHD., 14, 1ST FLOOR, LORONG BUNUS ENAM, OFF JALAN MASJID INDIA, 50100 KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA.

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Ways to Nourish Friendship

Here are tested ways to nurture lasting friendships:

SOURCE: EAST AND WEST SERIES, MARCH 1995, 10, SADHU VASWANI PATH, PUNE 411 001, INDIA

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COMMUNICATION

If You Feel Nervous About a Presentation

Here is a reminder from Bob Boylan in his book, What's Your Point?: The ultimate factor in reducing nervousness and building confidence is rehearsal. We can't say it loudly enough! IF YOU DON'T REHEARSE, DON'T PRESENT!

SOURCE: BOB BOYLAN, WHAT'S YOUR POINT? WARNER BOOKS INC., NEW YORK, NY, U.S.A.

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CHILD EDUCATION

Recognizing Negative Programming in Children

Many children develop fear or lack of self-confidence due to negative programming as they grew up. They may been subjected to verbal put-downs very often. Here are the main indicators, according to author Steve Biddulph, in children who grew up with negative programming and who need your help as an elder or teacher:

It is useful to regard this kind of child as having missed out on affection and on being valued and affirmed in early part of life (0-2 years).

SOURCE: STEVE BIDDULPH, THE SECRET OF HAPPY CHILDREN, BAY BOOKS PTY LTD. 61-69 ANZAC PARADE, KENSINGTON NSW 2033, AUSTRALIA.

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INNER PEACE

If You are Attracted to Your Subordinate

If you find that you are attracted to one of your subordinates and you are now beginning to flirt with him or her, beware for you may putting both you and the other person in deep trouble. Dr. Richard E. Byrd points out the following:

SOURCE: RICHARD E. BYRD, PH.D., SAY THE MAGIC WORDS. THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP, 200 MADISON AVE., NEW YORK, NY 10016, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Does Your Child Lie to You?

Children lie for various reasons: to avoid punishment or embarrassment, to protect privacy or their friends, to obtain something they can't have or garner the admiration of peers. Lying is a problem when it is a habit. Studies have shown that it is associated with more serious antisocial behavior such as stealing, or conduct disorder. Here are steps that you can do, as suggested by the Children's National Medical Center:

SOURCE: CHILDREN'S NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER, A TO Z GUIDE TO YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOR. PERIGEE BOOKS, THE PUTNAM PUBLISHING GROUP, 200 MADISON AVENUE, NEW YORK, NY 10016, U.S.A.

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CHILD EDUCATION

Children Do What They See

Studies show that children are strongly affected by the examples they see in parents, adults, TV, movies, etc.

In one study, children watched an adult attack a large blown-up "Bo-Bo" doll. Some saw an actual adult punch, hit and kick the doll. Others saw a film of the action, and a third group saw a cartoon version.

Later when the children were given a "Bo-Bo" doll, most of them imitated what they saw. Even the cartoon version encouraged aggression, though to a lesser degree than the actual and filmed version.

The modeling effect of films and TV is demonstrated by what a convicted criminal once told TV Guide Magazine: "TV taught me how to steal cars, how to break into establishments, how to go about robbing people, even how to roll a drunk. Once after having watched Hawaii Five-O, I robbed a gas station. The show showed me how to do it."

SOURCE: DENNIS COON, INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY. WEST PUBLISHING CO., 50 KELLOGG BLVD., ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA 55165, U.S.A.

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CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Making Your Enemy Listen

A basic problem in conflict resolution is that both sides are not really listening to each other. And if you truly listen, the other may not be. Here is one approach from Lanza del Vasto:

"You accuse me of this or that thing well, it's not true. But there is this thing you are not accusing me of and it is true -" oh, and your enemy will listen. And of course that's the first thing to be listened to by your enemy. And another occasion to be listened to, is to search if your enemy hasn't one day in the past said something true, done something beautiful. "Oh, and I did that? Ah, yes-" and he will listen!

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HEALTH AND HEALING

The Power of Touch

Do not underestimate the power of touching other people.

A study was made on 200 hospital patients wherein half of them were to be touched by every doctor, nurse or staff who walk into the room. The other half were not to be touched at all except when necessary. It was found that the patients who were touched healed three times faster than those who were not touched.

People respond positively when they are touched. Do it to your spouse, children, and friends.

SOURCE: SUSAN SMITH JONES, CHOOSE TO LIVE EACH DAY FULLY, CELESTIAL ARTS PUBLISHING, P.O. BOX 7123, BERKELEY, CA 94707, U.S.A.

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

How to Say Sorry

Just saying sorry is not enough, according to Dr. Aaron Lazare, an American psychiatrist. When apologizing, the vital element is the timing. If one apologizes while the other person still feel furious, the apology is likely to be rejected. It is better to wait and watch until the other person calms down before saying, "I'm sorry."

SOURCE: EAST AND WEST SERIES, MAY 1995, 10, SADHU VASWANI PATH, PUNE 411 001, INDIA

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INNER PEACE

Try This Meditation

This is called the "I am Happy," "I am Sad" Meditation, suggested by David Harp and Nina Feldman:

SOURCE: DAVID HARP WITH NINE FELDMAN, THE 3-MINUTE MEDITATOR. JUDY PIATKUS (PUBLISHERS) LTD, 5 WINDMILL STREET, LONDON W1P 1HF, UK

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RESOURCES

Peace Quotes

I have no race prejudice . . .
. . . I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.
MARK TWAIN

Nonviolence . . .
. . . which is a quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
MAHATMA GANDHI

Nonviolence . . .
. . . doesn't always work -- but violence never does.
MADGE MICHEELS-CYRUS

No army . . .
. . . can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.
VICTOR HUGO

The evils of government . . .
. . . are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people.
FRANK KENT

We have seen the enemy . . .
. . . and he is us.
WALT KELLY, "Pogo"

If a man doesn't find something to die for . . .
. . . he probably hasn't anything to live for.
JAMES BEVEL

The journey of a thousand leagues . . .
. . . begins with a single step. So we must never neglect any work of peace within our reach, however small.
ADLAI E. STEVENSON

Very few people chose war . . .
. . . They chose selfishness and the result was war. Each of us, individually and nationally, must choose: total love or total war.
DAVE DELLINGER

To drop tension from your life . . .
. . . practice the getting of tranquillity by passing peaceful words and thoughts through your mind daily and nightly. They have a strange healing quality.
NORMAN VINCENT PEALE

Because We Want Peace . . .
. . . with half a heart and half a life and will, the war of course continues because the waging of war is total. But the waging of peace, by our own cowardice, is partial. So a whole will and a whole heart and a whole national life bent toward war prevail over the [mere desire for] peace.
DANIEL BERRIGAN

Give thanks daily . . .
. . . for your blessings. Get the habit of thinking happy thoughts. Go out of your way to make other people happy. There is your formula for real happiness and enthusiasm.
NORMAN VINCENT PEALE

Aye, fight! . . .
. . . But not your neighbor. Fight rather all the things that cause you and your neighbor to fight.
MIKHAIL NAIM

Integrity . . .
. . . includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth -- in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words -- in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life.
STEPHEN R. COVEY

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PARENTING

Teach Children "Magic" Words

Here is a game suggested by Linda and Richard Eyre which you can play with your children that will help them realize the value of kindness and friendliness.

And the answer is . . . ?

Yes, there are such words.

Words like "Please," "thank you," "excuse me," "you're welcome" and similar words make people smile, make them feel better, make the world work better. Isn't that magic?

Explain this notion several times and prepare your children for the simple correction or reminder, "Remember to use the magic words."

SOURCE: LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE, TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN VALUES. SIMON & SCHUSTER, 1230 AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS, NY, NY, U.S.A.

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PARENTING

Handling Selfishness of Children

Very young children tend to be egocentric, and hence selfish. As they grow up, they learn how to share and understand the feelings of others. Some, however, continue to exhibit selfishness and will tend to experience difficulty in dealing with others later in life.

Selfishness can come from any of the following factors:

There are steps that parents can do to help correct selfishness in children:

SOURCE: CHILDREN'S NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER, A TO Z GUIDE TO YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOR. PERIGEE BOOKS, THE PUTNAM PUBLISHING GROUP, 200 MADISON AVENUE, NEW YORK, NY 10016, U.S.A.

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PEACE CLUB PROJECT

Skits for Drug Prevention

Here is what eighth grade students in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, do to help fight drugs and alcohol. Together with their school counselor, they developed skips and rap music that they perform in local elementary schools. They call their group IMPRES -- Information Makes Prevention Realistic and Effective. They show kids how to improve their self-esteem and develop a positive self-image.

After the performance, they stay and have lunch with the younger kids so they can talk to them individually and encourage them to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

SOURCE: PATRICIA ADAMS AND JEAN MARZOLLO, THE HELPING HANDS HANDBOOK. RANDOM HOUSE, INC., NEW YORK, N.Y., U.S.A.

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

A Vital Tip for Dealing with People

Whether you are a supervisor, a parent, a friend, or a co-worker, here is an important tip from Dale Carnegie on becoming more effective in dealing with people: Avoid criticizing or condemning.

Psychologist B. F. Skinner has proved that animals learn more effectively when rewarded than when punished. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes, and often incur resentment instead.

SOURCE: DALE CARNEGIE, HOW TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE AND YOUR JOB. POCKET BOOKS, SIMON & SCHUSTER, INC. 1230 AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS, NY, NY, U.S.A.

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RELAXATION

Music That Induces Relaxation

The type of music that you usually listen to may determine your state of relaxation. Some types of music make you tense, others make you excited, others make you relaxed.

Dr. Steven Halpern, composer and music researcher, has found that music with a more natural rhythm -- such as those that synchronize with our heartbeat and breathing -- tend to be more relaxing to most people. Examples of these are the slow second movement of some Baroque music by Bach, Handel, Vivaldi. They follow the natural one-beat-per-second rhythm of the heart.

Dr. Halpern states that "in contrast, the typical rhythm of rock music is exactly opposite to the heart's natural beat. That's one reason why people find it irritating or exciting. It confuses our natural inclinations."

Some of the longer-playing pieces for relaxation, says Dr. Charles Schmid, former director of the Learning in New Dimensions Institute of San Francisco, include Pachelbel's Canon in D, Mozart's Piano Concerto #21 (which became the theme song for Elvira Madigan), and Albinoni's Adagio in G.

The type of instrument used to produce these music will also play a part in inducing relaxation. Dr. Halpern found that in studies, the best general relaxation response was evoked with the sound of electric piano, flute, harp, and piano. "A string ensemble playing sustained tones is also good for most people, but the violin alone is too harsh."

SOURCE: EMRIKA PADUS AND STAFF OF PREVENTION MAGAZINE, THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR HEALTH. RODALE PRESS, EMMAUS, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.

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Prepared by:
Peace Center
Theosophical Society in the Philippines
tspeace@info.com.ph