

We can cooperate with our body's natural wisdom by practicing chi breathing whenever we feel tired or tense. Chi is the life energy that circulates through our inner body. It is also known as prana. Our vitality depends upon the smooth circulation of chi. Here is an exercise suggested by Diane Dreher, author of The Tao of Peace:
SOURCE: DIANE DREHER, THE TAO OF PEACE, DONALD I. FINE INC., NEW YORK.
Do you avoid smiling because your teeth are crooked or discolored? Do you feel too fat or too thin to be lovable? Are you always conscious that you are going bald?
Author Catherine Rollins gives this age-old advice to those who feel that they have weaknesses or imperfections that their self-esteem or self-confidence is affected: Fix it or accept it.
SOURCE: CATHERINE E. ROLLINS, 52 WAYS TO BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE. THOMAS NELSON PUBLISHERS, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE, U.S.A.
Heavy drinkers of coffee should beware. A 19-year study at Northwestern University showed that people who drank six or more cups per day of coffee were 71% more likely to die prematurely from heart disease. The subjects of this study were 1,910 male employees of Western Electric Company in Chicago. Caffeine has been linked to heart attack, arrhythmia, insomnia, anxiety and irritability. It is one of the drugs banned for Olympic athletes.
SOURCE: MARILYN FERGUSON, BOOK OF PRAGMAGIC, POCKET BOOKS, SIMON & SCHUSTER INC. 1230 AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS, NEW YORK, N& 10020, U.S.A.
Experts are questioning the age-old form of disciplining children by spanking or physical punishment. "They believe," writes Liezel Angeles, "whipping is not necessarily the best way to mold children's behavior. If it is wrong to hit people, then it is also wrong to hit children, because they are also people." Besides, says Radda Barnen who belongs to an international group of children's advocates, hitting children is a violation of their fundamental rights as human beings. Ms. Angeles states these reasons:
Here are suggested alternatives to physical punishment:
SOURCE: MONEYSAVER MAGAZINE, SEPTEMBER, 1995, CONCORDE CONDOMINIUM, 5TH FLOOR, 200 BENAVIDEZ CORNER SALCEDO STREET, LEGASPI VILLAGE, MAKATI, PHILIPPINES
If you are engaged in some form of trade, you may learn from this poster on why customers quit buying from a store or business:
A positive and caring attitude is not only conducive to personal happiness, it is also effective in business.
SOURCE: PROMOD BATRA, MANAGEMENT THOUGHTS. GOLDEN BOOKS CENTRE SDN. BHD., 14, 1ST FLOOR, LORONG BUNUS ENAM, OFF JALAN MASJID INDIA, 50100 KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA.
Here are tested ways to nurture lasting friendships:
SOURCE: EAST AND WEST SERIES, MARCH 1995, 10, SADHU VASWANI PATH, PUNE 411 001, INDIA
Here is a reminder from Bob Boylan in his book, What's Your Point?: The ultimate factor in reducing nervousness and building confidence is rehearsal. We can't say it loudly enough! IF YOU DON'T REHEARSE, DON'T PRESENT!
SOURCE: BOB BOYLAN, WHAT'S YOUR POINT? WARNER BOOKS INC., NEW YORK, NY, U.S.A.
Many children develop fear or lack of self-confidence due to negative programming as they grew up. They may been subjected to verbal put-downs very often. Here are the main indicators, according to author Steve Biddulph, in children who grew up with negative programming and who need your help as an elder or teacher:
It is useful to regard this kind of child as having missed out on affection and on being valued and affirmed in early part of life (0-2 years).
SOURCE: STEVE BIDDULPH, THE SECRET OF HAPPY CHILDREN, BAY BOOKS PTY LTD. 61-69 ANZAC PARADE, KENSINGTON NSW 2033, AUSTRALIA.
If you find that you are attracted to one of your subordinates and you are now beginning to flirt with him or her, beware for you may putting both you and the other person in deep trouble. Dr. Richard E. Byrd points out the following:
SOURCE: RICHARD E. BYRD, PH.D., SAY THE MAGIC WORDS. THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP, 200 MADISON AVE., NEW YORK, NY 10016, U.S.A.
Children lie for various reasons: to avoid punishment or embarrassment, to protect privacy or their friends, to obtain something they can't have or garner the admiration of peers. Lying is a problem when it is a habit. Studies have shown that it is associated with more serious antisocial behavior such as stealing, or conduct disorder. Here are steps that you can do, as suggested by the Children's National Medical Center:
SOURCE: CHILDREN'S NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER, A TO Z GUIDE TO YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOR. PERIGEE BOOKS, THE PUTNAM PUBLISHING GROUP, 200 MADISON AVENUE, NEW YORK, NY 10016, U.S.A.
Studies show that children are strongly affected by the examples they see in parents, adults, TV, movies, etc.
In one study, children watched an adult attack a large blown-up "Bo-Bo" doll. Some saw an actual adult punch, hit and kick the doll. Others saw a film of the action, and a third group saw a cartoon version.
Later when the children were given a "Bo-Bo" doll, most of them imitated what they saw. Even the cartoon version encouraged aggression, though to a lesser degree than the actual and filmed version.
The modeling effect of films and TV is demonstrated by what a convicted criminal once told TV Guide Magazine: "TV taught me how to steal cars, how to break into establishments, how to go about robbing people, even how to roll a drunk. Once after having watched Hawaii Five-O, I robbed a gas station. The show showed me how to do it."
SOURCE: DENNIS COON, INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY. WEST PUBLISHING CO., 50 KELLOGG BLVD., ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA 55165, U.S.A.
A basic problem in conflict resolution is that both sides are not really listening to each other. And if you truly listen, the other may not be. Here is one approach from Lanza del Vasto:
"You accuse me of this or that thing well, it's not true. But there is this thing you are not accusing me of and it is true -" oh, and your enemy will listen. And of course that's the first thing to be listened to by your enemy. And another occasion to be listened to, is to search if your enemy hasn't one day in the past said something true, done something beautiful. "Oh, and I did that? Ah, yes-" and he will listen!
Do not underestimate the power of touching other people.
A study was made on 200 hospital patients wherein half of them were to be touched by every doctor, nurse or staff who walk into the room. The other half were not to be touched at all except when necessary. It was found that the patients who were touched healed three times faster than those who were not touched.
People respond positively when they are touched. Do it to your spouse, children, and friends.
SOURCE: SUSAN SMITH JONES,
Just saying sorry is not enough, according to Dr. Aaron Lazare, an American psychiatrist. When apologizing, the vital element is the timing. If one apologizes while the other person still feel furious, the apology is likely to be rejected. It is better to wait and watch until the other person calms down before saying, "I'm sorry."
SOURCE: EAST AND WEST SERIES, MAY 1995, 10, SADHU VASWANI PATH, PUNE 411 001, INDIA
This is called the "I am Happy," "I am Sad" Meditation, suggested by David Harp and Nina Feldman:
SOURCE: DAVID HARP WITH NINE FELDMAN, THE 3-MINUTE MEDITATOR. JUDY PIATKUS (PUBLISHERS) LTD, 5 WINDMILL STREET, LONDON W1P 1HF, UK
I have no race prejudice . . .
. . . I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor
creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All
that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is
enough for me; he can't be any worse.
MARK TWAIN
Nonviolence . . .
. . . which is a quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal
to the brain.
MAHATMA GANDHI
Nonviolence . . .
. . . doesn't always work -- but violence never does.
MADGE MICHEELS-CYRUS
No army . . .
. . . can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.
VICTOR HUGO
The evils of government . . .
. . . are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people.
FRANK KENT
We have seen the enemy . . .
. . . and he is us.
WALT KELLY, "Pogo"
If a man doesn't find something to die for . . .
. . . he probably hasn't anything to live for.
JAMES BEVEL
The journey of a thousand leagues . . .
. . . begins with a single step. So we must never neglect any
work of peace within our reach, however small.
ADLAI E. STEVENSON
Very few people chose war . . .
. . . They chose selfishness and the result was war. Each of us,
individually and nationally, must choose: total love or total
war.
DAVE DELLINGER
To drop tension from your life . . .
. . . practice the getting of tranquillity by passing peaceful
words and thoughts through your mind daily and nightly. They have
a strange healing quality.
NORMAN VINCENT PEALE
Because We Want Peace . . .
. . . with half a heart and half a life and will, the war of
course
continues because the waging of war is total. But the waging of
peace, by our own cowardice, is partial. So a whole will and a
whole heart and a whole national life bent toward war prevail
over the [mere desire for] peace.
DANIEL BERRIGAN
Give thanks daily . . .
. . . for your blessings. Get the habit of thinking happy
thoughts.
Go out of your way to make other people happy. There is your
formula
for real happiness and enthusiasm.
NORMAN VINCENT PEALE
Aye, fight! . . .
. . . But not your neighbor. Fight rather all the things that
cause you and your neighbor to fight.
MIKHAIL NAIM
Integrity . . .
Here is a game suggested by Linda and Richard Eyre which you can
play with your children that will help them realize the value
of kindness and friendliness.
And the answer is . . . ?
Yes, there are such words.
Words like "Please," "thank you,"
"excuse
me," "you're welcome" and similar words make
people
smile, make them feel better, make the world work better. Isn't
that magic?
Explain this notion several times and prepare your children for
the simple correction or reminder, "Remember to use the
magic
words."
SOURCE: LINDA AND RICHARD EYRE,
Very young children tend to be egocentric, and hence selfish.
As they grow up, they learn how to share and understand the
feelings
of others. Some, however, continue to exhibit selfishness and
will tend to experience difficulty in dealing with others later
in life.
Selfishness can come from any of the following factors:
There are steps that parents can do to help correct selfishness
in children:
SOURCE: CHILDREN'S NATIONAL MEDICAL CENTER,
Here is what eighth grade students in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, do
to help fight drugs and alcohol. Together with their school
counselor,
they developed skips and rap music that they perform in local
elementary schools. They call their group IMPRES -- Information
Makes Prevention Realistic and Effective. They show kids how to
improve their self-esteem and develop a positive self-image.
After the performance, they stay and have lunch with the younger
kids so they can talk to them individually and encourage them
to stay away from drugs and alcohol.
SOURCE: PATRICIA ADAMS AND JEAN MARZOLLO,
Whether you are a supervisor, a parent, a friend, or a co-worker,
here is an important tip from Dale Carnegie on becoming more
effective
in dealing with people: Avoid criticizing or condemning.
Psychologist B. F. Skinner has proved that animals learn more
effectively when rewarded than when punished. Later studies have
shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not
make lasting changes, and often incur resentment instead.
SOURCE: DALE CARNEGIE,
The type of music that you usually listen to may determine your
state of relaxation. Some types of music make you tense, others
make you excited, others make you relaxed.
Dr. Steven Halpern, composer and music researcher, has found that
music with a more natural rhythm -- such as those that
synchronize
with our heartbeat and breathing -- tend to be more relaxing to
most people. Examples of these are the slow second movement of
some Baroque music by Bach, Handel, Vivaldi. They follow the
natural
one-beat-per-second rhythm of the heart.
Dr. Halpern states that "in contrast, the typical rhythm
of rock music is exactly opposite to the heart's natural beat.
That's one reason why people find it irritating or exciting. It
confuses our natural inclinations."
Some of the longer-playing pieces for relaxation, says Dr.
Charles
Schmid, former director of the Learning in New Dimensions
Institute
of San Francisco, include Pachelbel's Canon in D, Mozart's Piano
Concerto #21 (which became the theme song for
The type of instrument used to produce these music will also play
a part in inducing relaxation. Dr. Halpern found that in studies,
the best general relaxation response was evoked with the sound
of electric piano, flute, harp, and piano. "A string
ensemble
playing sustained tones is also good for most people, but the
violin alone is too harsh."
SOURCE: EMRIKA PADUS AND STAFF OF PREVENTION
MAGAZINE,
THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR HEALTH. RODALE
PRESS, EMMAUS, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.
Prepared by:
. . . includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the
truth -- in other words, conforming our words to reality.
Integrity is
STEPHEN R. COVEY
PARENTING
Teach Children "Magic" Words
PARENTING
Handling Selfishness of Children
PEACE CLUB PROJECT
Skits for Drug Prevention
INTERPERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS
A Vital Tip for Dealing with People
RELAXATION
Music That Induces Relaxation
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Peace Center
Theosophical Society in the Philippines
tspeace@info.com.ph